Do I have an addiction?

One of this first questions on my path to recovery I had to grapple with was “Am I an Addict?,” “Do I have an addiction?” In the beginning I had answers; “No! I can stop whenever I want. I could go weeks without looking at porn and masturbating. I believed that I simply needed more self-control and motivation. I thought I could rely on my own strengths.” These were all lies I was telling myself, and loved ones around me. I was missing the true nature of what addiction is. I wanted to think that I was in control, it was this illusion that kept me locked in it’s grasp.

“Addiction provides a way of escape; a false solution; a means to control loneliness, anger, anxiety, and fear.” - Dr. Mark R. Laaser, Healing the Wounds of sexual Addiction

"Sexual addiction is an intimacy disorder. It's not about the sex; it's about the connection. It's about using sex as a way to feel close, to feel loved, to feel wanted." - Patrick J. Carnes, PhD, Out of the Shadows

Both of these men helped me to sort through the questions I had and raised new ones for me to explore in their books.

1. Are you preoccupied with sexual thoughts, to the point where they interfere with your daily life and responsibilities?

2. Do you engage in sexual behaviors or activities that you later regret or feel ashamed of?

3. Have you tried to cut back or quit your sexual behaviors, but found that you were unable to do so on your own?

4. Have your sexual behaviors put you or others at risk of physical harm, emotional distress, or legal consequences?

5. Do you find that you need to engage in more and more extreme sexual behaviors to achieve the same level of pleasure or satisfaction?

6. Have your sexual behaviors caused problems in your relationships or affected your ability to form healthy connections with others?

7. Have you experienced negative consequences in other areas of your life, such as work or school, due to your sexual behaviors?

8. Do you use sexual behaviors as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or other emotional challenges?

If you answer yes to even a few of these questions, I would highly recommend that you find a CSAT trained therapist in your area to begin guiding you on this path.

Another great resource is Recovery Zone Home Page – They have a free self-assessment test to assist you in determining your level of SA behavior and needs.