Honor & Honesty with our Family of Origin

Family of Origin Definition: The family we are born or raised in, including parents, siblings, and extended relatives.

“Many families and faith communities have embraced the lie that if we are honest, we could not truly honor, and IF we honored someone, it would certainly come at the cost of honesty.”  Jay Stringer – UNWANTED

We tend to portray a picture of our families of origin in a positive light. We focus on the good, we sweep the bad under the carpet. Pseudo-virtue, fear, and a lack of boundaries all play a part and why we do this. These behaviors alleviate the need to do hard work in reconciling and healing the pain we have experienced.

Look at some of the stories of Bible heroes.    God is very balanced in His accounting of their faith and obedience, but also of their shortcomings.

Abraham – Is honored in scripture for being a great man, the father of our faith.  But also tells us about his disobedience to God, impregnating Sarah’s slave Hagar, lying about & selling Sarah to protect his own life.

David – Is honored in scripture for being a man after God’s own heart, but we are also told of his adultery, murder, and pride.

Noah – We are told that he was a righteous and obedient man who walked with God, but also about his battles with drunkenness.

Rehab – is listed in Hebrews 11 for her faith, a mother in the lineage of Christ, but was also a prostitute.

Moses – Also mentioned in Hebrews 11, led the Israelites to the promised land.  His life story is filled with self-doubt, anger, and murder as well.

The stories of amazing men and women in the Bible go on and on, scripture doesn’t shy away from telling us about the truth of what they battled.  It’s shocking at times! It would be R rated if made into a movie!

What is preventing you from being honest about the shortcomings of your family of origin? We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Labeling Your family as “healthy” or “unhealthy” Isn’t necessarily helpful. These traits can co-exist. You can honor your family for their amazing contributions to your life and what they have done for you, and at the same time be honest about the wounds and baggage they left for you to heal from.